I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
