So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
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did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
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Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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