Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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