So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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