We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
