how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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