covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
