We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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