Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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