Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize