I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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