I CAN MOONWALK!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
