I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
