when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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