erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
