Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
