do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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