Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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