i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
