you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
