Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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