ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
