oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
