well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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