I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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