He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
