What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I am one with the molecules
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
