I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
