its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize