But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
