the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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