I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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