If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
