Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
