just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
