If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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