I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
