We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
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the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
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Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So much Jack, so little girl.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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