I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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