The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
