Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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