I'm eating all of the evidence.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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