You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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