Pappa wants mamma naked
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
