How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
