I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
