"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize