I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
