Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
