i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize