Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You took a bar mat shot.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
