i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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