just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
