I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you win again, gameday.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
