My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
