go do what you do best...puke behind churches
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
