i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
