whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
