then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
