in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
