Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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