dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
