...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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