Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis