you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
