I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i need some magic done to my vagina
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices