Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.

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  (913): I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body. (402): Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days? (913): Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm. http://tfl.nu/rpz1
  Replies (13) Good night (1411) Bad night (905)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.

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  (217): i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet. http://tfl.nu/nuvu
  Replies (55) Good night (937) Bad night (3646)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day

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  (703): i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day http://tfl.nu/h495
  Replies (29) Good night (6470) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit

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  (551): the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit http://tfl.nu/ma7y
  Replies (45) Good night (8974) Bad night (742) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..

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  (206): You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack.. http://tfl.nu/nf69
  Replies (61) Good night (17518) Bad night (963)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  & he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'

  (636): View more from Missouri

  HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!

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  (636): & he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut' (636): HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!! http://tfl.nu/1ay1
  Replies (14) Good night (1286) Bad night (3081)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.

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  (443): I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand. http://tfl.nu/0bxb
  Replies (10) Good night (2827) Bad night (1142) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?

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  (516): Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes? http://tfl.nu/2qmc
  Replies (6) Good night (1944) Bad night (871) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect

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  (412): Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect http://tfl.nu/da8w
  Replies (1) Good night (2192) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?

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  (780): Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem? http://tfl.nu/k3dz
  Replies (4) Good night (2981) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...

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  (510): I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant... http://tfl.nu/doz4
  Replies (16) Good night (487) Bad night (1670) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures

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  (416): But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures http://tfl.nu/emrg
  Replies (2) Good night (1415) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.

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  (303): She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/lf23
  Replies (4) Good night (1242) Bad night (372) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.

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  (740): No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock. http://tfl.nu/8vp6
  Replies (2) Good night (851) Bad night (402)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?

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  (435): I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself? http://tfl.nu/fnlw
  Replies (2) Good night (507) Bad night (289) Order T-Shirt

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