Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.

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(513): View more from Ohio

you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza

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(301): View more from Maryland

it's like iHOP with fire

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(760): View more from California

i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(509): View more from Washington

He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.

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(815): View more from Illinois

drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.

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(813): View more from Florida

If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence

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