tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...