Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.

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(949): View more from California

i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him

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(313): View more from Michigan

That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...

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(512): View more from Texas

you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried

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(540): View more from Virginia

i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall

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(757): View more from Virginia

think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess

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(404): View more from Georgia

He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho

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