Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
