I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
