then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
