Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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